SOS Brigade!
by shanejayell
Summary: Saving the world Order with haruhi Suzumiya Brigade!


Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, I'm just borrowing them for awhile. Spoilers for later episodes!

SOS Brigade: Saving the world Order with Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade!

When I entered highschool, I intended to leave my fantasies of youth behind me. No more dreams of heroes or villains, no more making up manga and anime style heroes and the evil organizations and evil syndicates that fought them, I was going to live a normal school life. Then I met Haruhi, and all my plans came to a grinding halt.

The alarm cut through the class like a knife, startling the students and making Kyon's eyes widen with alarm. 'Oh no,' the brown haired young man thought as he felt movement behind him.

"Teacher!" Haruhi Suzumiya bounced to her feet, her brown hair safely held back by her orange hair ribbon, "May we be excused?!"

"Of course," she replied as she directed the other students to flee the building.

"Wait a..." Kyon started, but it was too late. Reaching out Haruhi grabbed him by the tie as they raced from the room, out into the hallway and back to the stairs.

"What are you waiting for?" Haruhi demanded as they raced out of the main building.

"We don't even know if we're needed," Kyon managed to reply.

THOOM!

"Oh yeah?" Haruhi stopped a moment as she pointed, "Take a look at that!"

Off in the distance a glowing being staggered across the landscape, it's inhuman face roaring it's annoyance at the sky. Composed of a strange, almost translucent material, it shimmered from within with energy, it's very presence damaging the world around it.

"All right," Kyon conceded as they hurried into the old building, "I guess you're right."

Racing up the hall they saw Mikuru Asahina, the smaller light brown haired girl rushing along with the always smiling Itsuki Koizumi at her side. "Well," Itsuki smiled, his always neat clothes crisp as usual, "it looks like another interesting day."

"Sorry I'm late," Mikuru said shyly as they all rushed into the clubroom.

Yuki Nagato looked up from where she was reading her book, only reluctantly closing it for a moment. "It's time," the almost dark grey haired girl said calmly.

"SOS Brigade," Haruhi raised her arm, revealing that she was wearing a watch like device on her wrist, "go!"

Everyone echoed her movement, though in Kyon's case it was with some reluctance as they cried out, "Go!"

With that the tables in the clubroom were tossed aside as the floor directly below them opened up, sending them screaming down five metal tubes. "Whaaa!" Mikuru yelped as she clothes were bodily stripped from her, metal arms then deploying to slip a stylized military like uniform onto her impressively endowed form.

After a moment in free-fall, all five of them dropped safely into what looked like a base right out of some science fiction show. Impressive looking computer terminals beeped and whirred, vehicles of various types waited to be used and trophies of past battles rested about, gleaming in the dim lights.

"It's about time you got here," the leader of the Computer Society and the unofficial butler of their secret underground headquarters said. "Damn it, I could have spent the day programming Day of Sagitarius IV, but noooo..."

"Ah ah ah," from nowhere Haruhu produced a camera and waved it around meaningfully, making him go visibly pale. Haruhi had held the blackmail photos over the young man's head for months, and it looked like they were still effective.

"So, is it one of the shinjin again?" Itsuki asked him politely.

"Yes," computer guy nodded tiredly, "it's rampaging in the district nearby. Police and firefighters were called out, but they're not having much of an impact."

"It's time for the SOS Brigade to move out," Haruhi declared as she struck a heroic pose, "together, we'll fight as one!"

"Oh brother," Kyon sighed weakly.

Together they rushed through the underground headquarters, then out through a passage ending up near the sports field. The creature roared again, shaking the earth, and they saw another building simply dissolve as if it were nothing.

"All right," Haruhi looked at Kyon, "what do we do?"

'Why are you asking me?!' Kyon wondered, then he frowned. "All right," he said briskly, "Itsuki, grab Haruhi and give her a lift and distract that thing. Mikuru, use your time-shifting ability to get any remaining bystanders clear. And Yuki, used your data alteration power to try to contain the damage."

"And you?" Yuki asked in her usual expressionless way.

"I'll attack it head on," Kyon replied as they moved out. 'Yes, when I entered high school I intended to put all my heroic fantasies behind me,' Kyon thought as he ran forward, 'but instead, here I am living them out.'

Smoothly Isuki grabbed Haruhi by the shoulders and concentrated, psionic energy flaring around them. With a charming smile he carried them both off into the air, Haruhi's excited yell ringing out across the battlefield. AS they zipped close to the creature Haruhi gestured, light flaring around her hands and zipping out to blast at the shinjin, sending it reeling backwards.

Amid the wreckage of the buildings Mikuru flickered in and out, moving backward and forward through time and space as she grabbed people and carried them to safety. "Sorry," she apologized as she set a lady down then disappeared after another victim.

Kyon ran by Yuki, watching in awe as a piece of broken building dissolved into data, then was reformed by Yuki as a barrier to slow the beast's advance. Calmly and cooly Yuki dissolved the building piece by piece, forming restrains to bind the confused creature and delay it so that Kyon could strike.

Scrambling up over a corner of a broken building Kyon reached over his shoulder to draw his sword, handling the weapon carefully. While it resembled a ordinary blade Yuki had modified the sword's data, causing it to be able to cut anything other than it's special sheath. With a cry he swung at the shinjin's glowing leg and sliced the stumpy foot clean away, sending it reeling backwards.

"Yes!" Haruhi cried, throwing another of her energy bolts to send the off ballance beast crashing to the ground.

"Harhui, Yuki, Itsuki, go," Kyon ordered, moving back from the now fallen beast. Combining their abilities the three bombarded the shinjin, breaking it's substance down and finally dissolving it into nothingness.

"Did... did we win?" Mikuru asked tentatively.

"Yes, I think we did," Itsuki said as he flew himself and Haruhi back to the ground beside the rest of them.

"Hmm," Yuki nodded slightly in agreement.

"The SOS Brigade is victorious again!" Haruhi declared, even as the chaos of emergency services began to descend on the area.

"We'd better get out of here," Kyon recommended as he saw the flock of reporters that were nearing their spot.

"But..." Haruhi started, clearly tempted by the spotlight.

"We all agreed that for the SOS Brigade to be effective we must keep it a secret," Kyon reminded her, silently praying she'd listen.

"Oh, all right," Haruhi agreed as they took off back to base.

'Thank goodness,' Kyon thought, relieved. 'I really don't think the world is ready to know that the shinjin we just battled is a accidental side effect of Haruhi's being bored,' he thought wryly.

"Next time," Haruhi waved her arms excitedly, "we should go for full bodysuits instead of these costumes, and helmets. It'll be just like those power ranger shows!"

Kyon winced visibly, imagining how stopid they'd look. "Do whatever you want," he sighed, feeling a headache coming on.

To be continued...?

Notes: My attempt to cast the SOS Brigade as superheroes, more or less, with Kyon as the team leader. Not to be taken seriously at all...


End file.
